we have pet lesbian snakes
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I feel like death gave me a hand job
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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