Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Holy sore nipples Batman
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
