So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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