this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
