love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
