if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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