i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
