I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
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