if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
