u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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