he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
