Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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