Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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