I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I smell like Dick and happiness
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
