I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
