I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
