Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
