Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize