after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
