My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
