sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
