Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
