Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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