Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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