so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
