Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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