by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
