I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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