You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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