Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
