well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
