my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
