I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Please don't give away my fajitas
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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