He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
