I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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