no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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