Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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