you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
