5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
then he tried to convert me to islam
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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