I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
