Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
