Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
