wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
There's even glitter on my cock...
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