absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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