I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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