I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
