Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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