So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
