i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
