So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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