I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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