You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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